Rap music... sounds like somebody feeding a rhyming dictionary to a popcorn popper.

Reality whistles a different tune underwater.

We waste time looking for the perfect lover, instead of creating the perfect love.

Disbelief in magic can force a poor soul into believing in government and business.

Religion is not merely the opium of the masses, it's the cyanide.

In the haunted house of life, art is the only stair that doesn't creak.

The beet is the most intense of vegetables

Humanity has advanced, when it has advanced, not because it has been sober, responsible, and cautious, but because it has been playful, rebellious, and immature.

It is better to be small, colorful, sexy, careless, and peaceful.

To achieve the impossible; it is precisely the unthinkable that must be thought.

We're our own dragons as well as our own heroes, and we have to rescue ourselves from ourselves.

But such was the way with people – they loved the things that made them miserable.

To better handle grief, become the passenger, not the driver.

Is there a difference between loving someone and being in love with someone?

Take ACTION! When we DO NOT take action, our potentiality becomes the soil that houses the seeds of our regret.

I learned this early on in the variety business: You've got to give folks responsibility, you've got to trust them, and then you've got to check on them.

Forfeit your sense of awe, let your conceit diminish your ability to revere, and the universe becomes a market place for you.

God gives all to those, who get up early.

There are a lot of great jokes you can sit down and write, but that's just a written joke, versus the comedy of the situation. Ideally, you're pulling as much comedy out of the situation as you can.

I believe above the storm, the smallest prayer will still be heard. I believe that someone in that great somewhere hears every word.

How much salt water thrown away in waste/ To season love, that of it doth not taste.