None of us is perfect. Everyone has got a skeleton in the closet that they don't want people to find out. I just let it go, with a bit of humor.

I don't want you to play me a riff that's going to impress Joe Satriani; give me a riff that makes a kid want to go out and buy a guitar and learn to play.

Of all the things I've lost I miss my mind the most.

I got rabies shots for biting the head off a bat but that's OK - the bat had to get Ozzy shots.

Maybe it's not too late to learn how to love and forget how to hate.

Sometimes I'm scared of being Ozzy Osbourne. But it could have been worse. I could have been Sting.

If you can laugh at your mistakes, it's a good thing.

My son Jack just got out of rehab, he's 17 years old and he got hooked on Oxycontin and I'm just a little pissed off that he never gave me a few.

Hating people isn’t a productive way of living. So what’s the point in hating anyone? There’s enough hate in the world as it is, without me adding to it.

When you’re in love, it’s not just about the messing around in the sack, it’s about how empty you feel when they’re gone.

You've got to believe in yourself, or no one will believe in you. Imagination is like a bird on the wing, flying free for you to use.

Once you die, that’s it – game over. Death is the ultimate cessation of the individual Self.

Humans should be permanently under development.

Poverty does not belong in civilized human society. Its proper place is in a museum. That's where it will be.

Rationalizing is another road that leads to hell.

My mother had taught shorthand and typing to support us since my father died, and secretly she hated it and hated him for dying and leaving no money because he didn't trust life insurance salesmen.

Actually being funny is mostly telling the truth about things.

Long after you’ve forgotten someone’s voice, you can still remember the sound of their happiness or their sadness. You can feel it in your body.

There may yet be another Watergate book. I have thought a book about the aftermath of Watergate and its impact could be done, perhaps by me or someone else.

This is certain, that a man that studieth revenge keeps his wounds green, which otherwise would heal and do well.

I play well with everybody.