No matter how bad you think something is, when you look into it, it's always worse.

A modern liberal is someone who doesn't care what you do, as long as it's compulsory.

It's amazing how much credit you can take, if you don't care about accomplishing anything.

Once our people get themselves into a position to make policy, they cease being our people.

He who writes the Resolved Clause, wins the debate.

On Politics: When our people get to the point where they can do us some good, they stop being our people.

A quotation is a handy thing to have about, saving one the trouble of thinking for oneself, always a laborious business.

In general, the final filter of Hollywood is for-profit. Nothing goes through unless it can make money.

Every time you almost die, I almost die myself.

You try various things when you're growing up. I was an attache in the Foreign Service for a while and then I drove a bulldozer, but neither of those panned out for me so it had to be stand-up.

The showbiz world has to be manipulated to make it more interesting because most people's lives are boring.

Here we supped . . ., having amongst other dainties, a dish of truffles, an earth nut found by an hogg trained to it.

We are not really spying, we're just satisfying our curiosity.

Travel sharpens the senses. Abroad one feels, sees and hears things in an abnormal way.

In the end all collaborations are love stories.

I guess I had it made. My mother gave me advice - she taught me that women like to be looked in the eye - and my grandmother gave me condoms.