My parents were my worst audience.

I quit therapy because my analyst was trying to help me behind my back.

When you're in love it's the most glorious two and a half days of your life.

I'm paranoid. On my stationary bike, I have a rear view mirror.

I love being famous. It validates that I have something to say.

For 45 years I've worked without an audience.

My humor is channeling everything through my brain. For example, when I talk about something, it's how Richard Lewis feels about it. I'm a storyteller. I do a lot of free association.

I never wanted to do observational humor because I never wanted to tell people what they were seeing.

Oh Blimey O‘Reilly's pantyhose...what is the point of Shakespeare? I know he is a genius and so on, but he does rave on.It's the bloody moon, for God's sake, Will, get a grip!!

Even when something sad or tragic happens, I find a way to look at it in a positive light. People who don't have a sense of humor must be so sad all the time.

The incessant perpetuation of collective fantasies makes people crave the truth and nothing but the truth - reality is the fastest American commodity.

Sometimes when it goes really well, you wonder, "who's that at the piano?"

Happiness requires problems

We can stand only a certain amount of unhappiness; anything beyond that annihilates us or passes us by, leaving us apathethetic.

To be active in a church social life or church activities or even a church mission to help the hungry or reach the poor, but really our dedication has to be born out of an infatuation with Jesus.

Once you have seen the face of God, you see the same face on everyone you meet.

A background of wrath, which can be stirred up to the murderous infernal pitch, does lie in every man.

Our beliefs in a rich future life are of little importance unless we coin them into a rich present life.