My mother is very short - four-eleven. She could walk under tables and never hit her head.

My mind is a raging torrent, flooded with rivulets of thought cascading into a waterfall of creative alternatives.

As long as the world is turning and spinning, we're gonna be dizzy and we're gonna make mistakes.

I've been accused of vulgarity. I say that's bullshit.

If you stand on a soapbox and trade rhetoric with a dictator you never win.

Hope for the Best. Expect the worst. Life is a play. We're unrehearsed.

Life literally abounds in comedy if you just look around you.

If presidents can't do it to their wives, they do it to their country.

Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die.

Humor is just another defense against the universe.

I don't know what to say so I'll just say what's in my heart...badoom, badoom, badoom.

i told you he'd freak out, she siad. didn't i?ah, the i told you so, jace said. always a classy move

There have been times I've felt so much art in my soul I grew sick of artists.

Some [young people] are taking pills called “heaven or hell” drugs, because you’re liable to experience either one.

You don't have to give birth to someone to have a family. We're all family - an extended family.

Goodness," Tessa said to the back of his head. "If you keep seeing Six-Fingered Nigel like this, he'll expect you to declare your intentions.

My friends are all megalomaniacs - from Damien Hirst to Jack Nicholson - all of them.

The degree to which fear now becomes an organizing principle of society is enormous compared to what it was like in the past.

Evolution, of course, is not something that simply applies to life here on earth; it applies to the whole universe.

Fox News is hated because they're elitists, and the worst winners television's ever seen.

The next message you need is always right where you are.