My job is to go out and entertain the most people possible. The job is to make people laugh. I don't have a mission. I don't have a torch to burn.

My mind is a raging torrent, flooded with rivulets of thought cascading into a waterfall of creative alternatives.

As long as the world is turning and spinning, we're gonna be dizzy and we're gonna make mistakes.

I've been accused of vulgarity. I say that's bullshit.

If you stand on a soapbox and trade rhetoric with a dictator you never win.

Hope for the Best. Expect the worst. Life is a play. We're unrehearsed.

Life literally abounds in comedy if you just look around you.

If presidents can't do it to their wives, they do it to their country.

Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die.

Humor is just another defense against the universe.

I don't know what to say so I'll just say what's in my heart...badoom, badoom, badoom.

Wisdom is available free of charge, but one has to give away somethings to acquire it!

Don't judge your running by your speed.

I don’t have to be logical. I’m a leopard. We’re considered wild animals, you know.

The more things you own, the more people you need to employ.

To embody a character, you have to lose all judgment about them.

The future cannot be predicted, but futures can be invented.

Vanity is a vital aid to nature: completely and absolutely necessary to life. It is one of nature's ways to bind you to the earth.

You got 3 things going against you: you're good, you're left-handed, and you're black

Sadness is very close to hate.

The happiest moments we ever know are when we entirely forget ourselves.