Most people's lives are nothing more than pointlessly frantic activity used as a psychological defense against their own impotence and fear.

I am Shiva, Destroyer of Worlds.

The devil doesn't come dressed in a red cape and pointy horns. He comes as everything you've ever wished for.

You show me a truly funny girl who doesn't have emotional issues, and I'll introduce you to my stable of unicorn thoroughbreds ridden by leprechaun jockeys.

Men will treat you the way you let them. There is no such thing as 'deserving' respect; you get what you demand from people.

The great stories go to those who aren't afraid to live them

You ever wake up in the middle of the night because a couple of cats are clawing each other to death outside your window? That's what it's like listening to you speak.

I will never understand why people get so upset at things I don't even remember saying.

I laugh at people who say things like 'I'm a good person, I just do bad things.' No, that's not how it works. What you do IS who you are.

The hardest lesson I've had to learn in my life is that my intelligence is inversely correlated to my humility. The more I thought I knew, the less I actually knew.

The narcissist act is not an act. I actually am a narcissist, very much so. My world revolves around me.

If you do not respect your own wishes, no one else will. You will simply attract people who disrespect you as much as you do.

Periodic Paralysis is not our friend

It is difficult to offend a New Yorker.

I always think that the most delightful thing about traveling is to always be running into Americans and to always feel at home.

If we grew up with nothing, we're complicated with that. That's the thing I keep hearing from people.

The fact that grief takes so long to resolve is not a sign of inadequacy, but betokens depth of soul.

Art has an obligation to offend

There's something about knowing life is finite that makes it so precious.

It is a fact that not once in all my life have I gone out for a walk. I have been taken out for walks; but that is another matter.

I'm constantly running across people who have never heard of books I think they should read.