Medical decisions have been politicized. What doctor wants a state legislator in his consulting room?

In Palm Springs, they think homelessness is caused by bad divorce lawyers.

Commencement speeches were invented largely in the belief that outgoing college students should never be released into the world until they have been properly sedated.

I've been trying for some time to develop a lifestyle that doesn't require my presence.

That's what fiction writers do: create characters and do terrible things to them for the entertainment of others. If they feel guilty enough, they write happy endings.

Becoming the new feminine ideal requires just the right combination of insecurity, exercise, bulimia and surgery.

Freedom should always be discussed within the context of responsibility.

I try to take people one at a time, with all the contradictions and compromises that most of us live with.

Life is like a movie-since there aren't any commercial breaks, you have to get up and go to the bathroom in the middle of it.

I'm still passionately interested in what my fellow humans are up to. For me, a day spent monitoring the passing parade is a day well-spent.

At college my three main interests were - in descending order of importance - a steady supply of recreational drugs, a 2-S draft deferment, and overthrowing the Nixon administration.

You have two eyes, but the discerning have three.You have two ears, but the wise have four.You have two hands, but the enlightened have five.

Who you are married to determines what your future will look like

To my sick little pal. I will try to knock you another homer, maybe two today.

You see people waving. You dont see people having problems, with each other at least.

I am the thing that I am painting at the time of painting.

For, he that expects nothing shall not be disappointed, but he that expects much - if he lives and uses that in hand day by day - shall be full to running over.

I'm not a fighter, but in my mind I'm fighting every day. 'What's new? What am I doing?' I'm fighting myself. My soul is samurai. My roots aren't samurai, but my soul is.

I get a lot of teenagers going, 'Yo, Krueger,' and honking their horn and giving me the claw. Yeah, I'm recognized.

I am such a good man, at bottom, such a good man, how is it that nobody ever noticed it?

Discontinue deciding what anyone else should or shouldn't be doing.