Little crimes breed big crimes. You smile at little crimes and then big crimes blow your head off.

Goodness is about what you do. Not who you pray to.

They say that the eyes of some paintings can follow you around the room, a fact that I doubt, but I am wondering whether some music can follow you for ever.

He'd heard that writers spent all day in their dressing gowns drinking champagne. This is, of course, absolutely true.

… you were so worried about legal and illegal that you never stopped to think about whether it was right or wrong.

If there were such a thing as an inter-city thieving contest, Ankh-Morpork would bring home the trophy and probably everyone’s wallets.

The hated have no reason to love.

After all, people seemed quite easy about having their rights and liberties taken away by those they looked up to, but somehow a space on the perch was a slap in the face, and treated as such.

Could I please amend that suggestion? Could you not be there in the second darkest shadow one hour before midnight, to see who steps into the darkest shadow?

How hard can writing be? After all, most of the words are going to be 'and, ' 'the, ' and 'I, ' and 'it, ' and so on, and there's a huge number to choose from, so a lot of the work has been done for you.

We never know the love of a parent till we become parents ourselves.

The thing about language is that once you start getting analytical about it, you can't stop.

Sir, I would rather be right than to be President.

The fruit of my tree of knowledge is plucked, and it is this: “Adventures are to the adventurous.”

Most Oscar parties are pretty silly. They're really for people who like to schmooze.

Why is everyone calling me Consort?" "Jim designated you as Consort in official papers. You don't want to be called Mate, calling you Alpha is confusing, and 'Beast Lady' makes people laugh.

All men love to talk about themselves, even the ones who are completely buggers.

If the price of everything is going down, that's going to include wages as well. People will have an incentive to sit on their cash and not spend it.

When I was a kid, we always had big gardens, acres of stuff we grew out in the yard.

He who helped you when you were in trouble ought not afterwards be despised by you