Like a lot of people whose children were small in the 2000s, I read [Daniel Handler] books out loud and I loved them.

Anyone who gives you a cinnamon roll fresh out of the oven is a friend for life.

Miracles are like meatballs, because nobody can exactly agree on what they are made of, where they come from, or how often they should appear.

Temper tantrums, however fun they may be to throw, rarely solve whatever problem is causing them.

I didn't realize this was a sad occasion.

They didn't understand it, but like so many unfortunate events in life, just because you don't understand it doesn't mean it isn't so.

Love can change a person the way a parent can change a baby - awkwardly, and often with a great deal of mess.

Chestnuts in stuffing tastes like someone chewed up a tree branch and then French-kissed it into your mouth.

The thing with your heart's desire is that your heart doesn't even know what it desires until it turns up.

Accidents happen all the time.

Morning is an important time of day, because how you spend your morning can often tell you what kind of day you are going to have.

I look at words as if they were entities, sacred beings. There are words to which I tip my hat when I see them sitting on a page.

It is just that I don’t know how I could live without the hope of her. It would be like learning to live with wooden legs.

Happiness is waking up in the morning with no regrets or worries for the present or future

Marriage is a leap of faith. You are each other's safety net.

The grand old Book of God still stands; and this old earth, the more its leaves are turned over and pondered, the more it will sustain and illustrate the Sacred word.

Remember the good old days when the only bomb you had to worry about on a plane was the Rob Schneider movie?

In 1950, American families sent 1 of 50 of their hard earned dollars to Washington: Today it is 1 in 4.

A player cannot be part of the training camp experience as a rookie unless he is signed to a contract.

It is my earnest desire that some of you should carry on this scientific work and keep for your ambition the determination to make a permanent contribution to science.

It is good to live and learn.