Just out of sight around a bend in the river there's always a small island full of magic and mystery just waiting for you.

Remember never to text and drive, it's bad grammar, even if you have a deadline. You might cross the line and dead may be your destination. Think about it!!

Thought about being a stand up comedienne for zombies, but when they eat you alive, they really eat you!!

Years ago there was an old man I knew that told me he didn't trust me, because people with beards were hiding from something. I told him, "That's true, I'm hiding from the barber!!

I don't know why they call them Cheerios, I ate an entire box and didn't feel any happier!!

I sprayed my dog with off and he still sits in my favorite chair!!

I have my moments, I just can't remember where I put them.

Turn your diodes this way and pulse...

A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush, unless it is the burning bush, in that case the value of your bird just went up!!

If a book falls in the woods and nobody read it, was it ever written?

I have always pictured accupuncture like falling into a box of sewing needles, and then standing up refreshed and free of pain.

Forgiveness with kindness is the best revenge.

Let's go kick som

Forgiveness is mandatory

I've had a good life, full of more success and happiness than I ever expected.

I want a guy I can go hiking with, who wants to do outdoorsy stuff. It's so much fun to be out in nature and who better to do that with than the person you're dating?

I've always wanted to act since I was little.

It's not to give people fish It's not to teach them how to fish It's to build a new and better fishing industry

Im known for impressions and family stories.

Feather by feather the goose is plucked.

I always feel like there’s no fighter that I can’t figure out.