It's better to make people laugh than cry.

The toilets at a local police station have been stolen. Police say they have nothing to go on.

The marvelous thing about a joke with a double meaning is that it can only mean one thing.

To get a job where the only thing you have to do in your career is to make people laugh-well, its the best job in the world.

I suppose I would like to be remembered as one of the funniest men that people have seen on television.

If I was as rich as Rockefeller I'd be richer than Rockefeller, because I'd do a bit of window cleaning on the side.

As believers our only debt is love and our only competition is to outdo each other in love.

A photograph is usually looked at- seldom looked into.

Nobody is going to pretend that I am younger than I am. Apart from anything else, it is in the papers all the damn time - every time I have a birthday.

For me the Jewish religion like all other religions is an incarnation of the most childish superstitions.

Men's stories are seen as universal, women's as particular. What women are up against is the battle to not be marginalized.

The more we love, the nearer we are to hate.

Liberty is always dangerous, but it is the safest thing we have.

My mum's from Yorkshire and my parents aren't snotty or posh - they're very hard workers, both of them.

Problem with (John) Wockenfuss getting on base is that it takes three doubles to score him.