It is a pity that instead of the Pilgrim Fathers landing on Plymouth Rock, Plymouth Rock had not landed on the Pilgrim Fathers.

The enjoyment of life would be instantly gone if you removed the possibility of doing something.

A pessimist is a man who thinks all women are bad. An optimist is a man who hopes they are.

The first step towards getting somewhere is to decide that you are not going to stay where you are.

If you will refrain from telling any lies about the Republican Party, I'lll promise not to tell the truth about the Democrats.

As for food, half of my friends have dug their graves with their teeth.

The walk downstairs to the breakfast table is excercise enough for any gentleman.

The government of the United States is and always has been a lawyer's government.

There have been many Presidents of the United States and the roll will be indefinitely extended. We have had a number of brilliant soldiers, but only one great general.

"What is the most beautiful word in the language?" The elderly lawyer quickly replied: "Home."

I get my exercise acting as pallbearer to my friends who exercise.

Discipline is denying ourselves in the present so as to prepare better for the future.

Rule Number One in the India Savage Life Code: When in doubt or possible trouble, lie.

I don't recall having a gun. I really don't. I don't think I ever pulled a gun on anyone in my life.

I am a goofy person, really. That's where my energy goes, that's how I live my life. The goof gene is very strong inside me, really.

[I want] a one-armed scientist ... [Who would not qualify his advice with 'on the other hand...']

On a long journey of human life, faith is the best of companions; it is the best refreshment on the journey; and it is the greatest property.

The spiritual leader will choose the hidden path of sacrificial service and approval of the Lord over the flamboyant self-advertising of the world.

I think quotes are very dangerous things.

As the culture war rages on, Lord give us wisdom to see the difference between defending our rights and protesting our slights.

When Love runs through the front door fear runs out the back.