It gets so boring at home. After all, how many reruns of Abbott and Costello movies can a guy watch on television?

You never heard of a comedy team that didn't fight, did you?

Now, on the St. Louis team we have Who's on first, What's on second, I Don't Know's on third...

Well, I always had a chauffer, because I have never driven a car in my life. I still can't drive.

It gets boring at home. How many reruns of Abbott and Costello movies can a guy watch on TV?

Sitting at home the way I do, I'd just love the hear from people. It'd be a great help in passing the time.

That's why so many stars are making pictures in Europe today. The tax guys are making thieves out of everybody.

They liked me so long as the liquor flowed at my house, but I haven't seen any of them around lately.

Dharma is something that one discovers, because one cannot create something that is already there.

Fear of failure impedes adequate self-identification

Root out all the "to be" verbs in your prose and bludgeon them until dead. No "It was" or "they are" or "I am." Don't let it be, make it happen.

From the time I was 8 until now, I've been working. My Social Security is looking solid.

I like the Growth and Opportunity Project. These are good conservative values, proving the core of the GOP is just that: conservative.

When you control your thoughts and emotions, you control everything.

A remarkable thing about me is that the time that elapses between a sad thought and a flood of tears is three or four seconds.

Many a false step is made standing still.

Forget the audience, make what you want to see

Crash programs fail because they are based on theory that, with nine women pregnant, you can get a baby in a month.