If you owe too much on American Express, and your Diner's Club notes are too hard, take a loan on your Visa, and pay it off with your MasterCard!

Pro and con are opposites, that fact is clearly seen. If progress means to move forward, then what does congress mean?

The kids are saying 'Make Love, Not War', and I'm beginning to think they're right. For war costs millions of dollars a day, and love--just a few bucks a night!

I'm all for ERA. I want to see women equal to men - not so damn superior like they've been.

When you a 'has-been', just think of where you HAS-BEEN.

I start with the joke line and write backward.

What are your chief vices? And virtues? I have no vices. The concept doesn't exist in my vocabulary. My chief virtue is gratitude

If you want to control other people, first control yourself.

Why do we travel to remote locations? To prove our adventurous spirit or to tell stories about incredible things? We do it to be alone amongst friends and to find ourselves in a land without man.

You think the dead we loved ever truly leave us?

The greatest fools are oft the most satisfied.

I'd definitely love to play in Nashville again. That would be really good.

Tis a human trait to hate one you have wronged

We love our fans, so there's nothing we wouldn't do for them, and we go directly to t hem.

In Italy they take cheap cloth and make it look expensive, but I take expensive cloth and make it look cheap. They just don't understand.

The more we count the blessings we have, the less we crave the luxuries we haven't.