If today were half as good as tomorrow is supposed to be, it would probably be twice as good as yesterday was.

Two-thirds of the Earth's surface is covered with water. The other third is covered with auditors from headquarters.

Simply stated, it is sagacious to eschew obfuscation.

Hardware works best when it matters the least.

Rank does not intimidate hardware. Neither does the lack of rank.

People do not win people fights. Lawyers do.

Motivation will almost always beat mere talent.

The early bird gets the worm. The early worm... gets eaten.

Software is like entropy. It is difficult to grasp, weighs nothing, and obeys the second law of thermodynamics; i.e. it always increases.

One of the most feared expressions in modern times is 'The computer is down.'

Law Number IX: Acronyms and abbreviations should be used to the maximum extent possible to make trivial ideas profound ... Q.E.D.

A mistake isn’t a mistake unless it can’t be put right.

Sitting outside on a dark night, under the stars, invites confidences amongst people of all ages, and all walks of life. It invokes an intimacy you don’t find under most other circumstances.

I have learned that only two things are necessary to keep one's wife happy. First let her think she's having her way. And second let her have it.

A long, exact, and serious comedy; In every scene some moral let it teach, And, if it can, at once both please and preach.

I just keep my head down and work hard on what I do.

In tantra we have complete faith in the winds of eternity. The key to tantra yoga is to feel that you are not the doer, that you cannot possibly act. All you have to do in life is to accept.

Sure, I'd play an ape if they asked me. Maurice Evans did.

Maybe I really could be one of the greatest of all time. Who doesn't want to be a legend, right?

For women the wage gap sets up an infuriating Catch-22 situation. They do the housework because they earn less, and they earn lessbecause they do the housework.

I have often before now been convinced that a democracy is incapable of empire.