If this whole writing thing doesn't work out, I'll be getting right back on the pole.

Nah... I mean, I'm already pregnant, so what other kind of shenanigans could I get into?

I'm glad that as a 33-year-old working mother, I can still choose to wear a Hello Kitty T-shirt or stay up late scrolling through the Twitter feed of my junior-high crush.

Couture gowns are like gremlins; you can't expose them to bright light or get them wet.

Los Angeles is often described as the nadir of vapidity, a smog-choked space cradle.

He is the cheese to my macaroni.

Thanks a heap coyote ugly. This cactus-gram stings worse than your abandonment.

The best thing you can do is find a person who loves you for exactly what you are.

I've been told that I'm incompetent, socially retarded, maladjusted. I still know that I couldn't function in reality. Los Angeles is a good place for me.

It doesn't matter if they're in front of the camera or behind the camera. I know women who are producers who are surviving on nothing but juice and almonds.

I think sometimes people really require the satisfaction of closure.

The most powerful control we can ever attain, is to be in control of ourselves.

Tell me all of the things that make you feel at ease

I'm never satisfied with what I do.

I take space to be the central fact to man born in America. I spell it large because it comes large here. Large and without mercy.

Secret thinker sometimes listening aloud.

For years, particularly with the advent of the Internet, people have been griping about lessening attention spans.

You can't look back; you have to keep looking forward.

The work of a director can be summed up in two very simple words. Why and How.

There is no finer sonic-producing weapon for a guitar slayer than a hand crafter Gibson masterpiece.

Dispose thyself to patience rather than to comfort, and to the bearing of the cross rather than to gladness.