If only my folks had beaten me, I could have gotten some material about my miserable childhood. But as it is, I've had a great life.

I spend a lot of time thinking of the Hereafter - each time I enter a room I wonder what I'm here after.

At first I wanted to be a jockey. I rode horses in Cleveland but I kept falling off and I was afraid of horses. So there wasn't much of a future in it.

I resent my barber when he charges the full cost after he cuts my hair, but he says he's charging me for finding it.

My career is pretty much over. I'm out in the Valley eating soft-boiled eggs.

Phyllis Diller came through a mine field of male comedians when she arrived on the comedy scene and she defused them all. She won her place in the Hall of Comedy as the First Lady. I will miss her.

I've never really taken anything very seriously. I enjoy life because I enjoy making other people enjoy it.

I like to work a lot with wood. I make furniture that falls apart. I also sew.

You can't TV surf without coming across an Andy of Mayberry episode where you've just got to watch Don as Barney. And that's why I put Don in several of my movies.

I figure you're only here for a matter of moments. Ever since I was a kid watching movies I've always wanted to make people laugh or have some sort of emotional reaction.

Fortunately my wife is understanding. When I come home from the races she never asks any questions, if I tell her I just ate a $380 hot dog.

EVERYTHINGWE LOVE ISWELL ARRANGED DUST. - ATTICUS

We can help pave the roads of those around us, but we can't choose their direction.

There may be arrogance – and the laziness of someone who is indefatigable when doing what he enjoys, but only when doing that.

The edge of the sea masks a clock that marks the waves.

Men at some time are masters of their fates.

Freedom of speech means nothing to a people who are too weak in their convictions to speak out against the evil that is eating at the heart of the nation like a cancer.

You are so afraid of losing your moral sense that you are not willing to take it through anything more dangerous than a mud-puddle.

An army, great in space, may offer opposition in a brief span of time. One man, brief in space, must spread his opposition across a period of many years if he is to have a chance of succeeding.

I like to see the people awake and alert.

The determination of life insurance salesmen to succeed has made life pretty soft for widows.