I wouldn't say I was grumpy. It's more pathological - I have seismic tantrums. I get red in the face and cry at least three times a week, and I have to lie down and have a nap afterwards.

I am very short-sighted, and if I don't like a situation I take my glasses off.

People often ask why comedy is harder for women, and the reason is because a tampon will sometimes fall out when you're on stage. Blokes don't have that worry.

Anyone who has dead straight hair wants curls.

I can eat a man, but I'm not sure of the fiber content.

Without fake tan I have the skin tones of a dead jellyfish.

Well, I'm not good with sliminess. I hate the thought of creatures that have slime on them or creatures that leave a slimy trail. At home, the sight of a slug can bring up my breakfast.

I'm a schizophrenic mix of wannabe glamourpuss and absolute slob, and my style is very much magistrate-meets-barmaid.

Well, I really don't like heights. I don't get on the top deck of a double-decker because that's a bit high for me. I always feel that I'm going to hurl myself off, so heights are a problem.

I love fashion, but I don't come from a background of loving clothes, and I remember feeling badly dressed from a young age.

I am not sure gender ever won't be an issue in comedy, because I think that women do have different priorities in some respects.

It is precisely democracy which is destroying the American political structure, American law, and the American economy.

Mincemeat is decidedly British in its nature and can therefore be disregarded entirely where most civilized palates are concerned.

Courage isn't knowing you can do something

Honor, " she said, "is the coin that stays in your pocket when all your silver has been spent.

Know him know me.

Most people become bankrupt through having invested too heavily in the prose of life. To have ruined one's self over poetry is an honour.

Nigeria has had a complicated colonial history. My work has examined that part of our story extensively.

Justice is the loveliest and health is the best. but the sweetest to obtain is the heart's desire.

... the wing of a fly is proof enough of the existence of God for me.

That blood which thou hast spill'd, should join you closely in an eternal bond.