I want a tattoo over my heart that reads TRY HARDER YOU LAZY PARAMEDIC SHITBAG OR I WILL HAUNT YOUR BEDROOM FOREVER

You're miserable, edgy and tired. You're in the perfect mood for journalism.

Scotch whisky is made from barley and the morning dew on angel's nipples.

If you believe that your thoughts originate inside your brain, do you also believe that television shows are made inside your television set?

Read comics. All comics. And then cut them open to steal their power.

That means that the universe is two-dimensional. Matter, energy, time, you, me and the floor are holograms.

The single simplest reason why human space flight is necessary is this, stated as plainly as possible: keeping all your breeding pairs in one place is a retarded way to run a species.

Wolves ate even mighty hunters, for there was no honor or code among predators, and everyone's guts steam the same way when torn open on a cold night.

Drinking is fun! It makes me feel horrible and sexy!

What if I left my memory in the future and I have to catch up to it?

Writing is basically a job for people who like punching themselves in the face, I’m pretty sure.

A life without memory is no life at all

There's no time like the present to love deeply, claim our power and live our purpose!

A double-minded person is unstable in all his doing

The great act of faith is when a man decides that he is not God.

Oh what a blamed uncertain thing This pesky weather is It blew and snew and then it thew And now by jing it's friz.

If I was whisked away... I think I could put up with anything, except not seeing the Australian landscape. It would be a torture to have it cut off.

Good taste rejects excessive nicety.

Only the silent hear and those who do not remain silent do not hear.

There is no greater folly in the world than for a man to despair.

If I don't take care of myself, if I don't feel good about myself, how can I help others?