I've taken magic lessons since I was five-years-old. When I was little I would wear a top hat and cape, and I'd get relentlessly beat up by jocks. That's why I don't care for sports.

Take criticism, smash it into dust. Add color and use it to paint breathtaking images of unicorns frolicking through endless fields of greatness.

I think it's perfectly acceptable and rather admirable to be moderately delusional

If you're lucky enough to find a weird - never let them go.

At my sexiest, I look like an androgenous Muppet.

I live in my own bubble. I'm in Gublerland.

I once gave a girl a bloody fake ear in a Tiffany jewelry box with a letter that said, “will you Gogh to prom with me?

I'm usually pretty lame when it comes to physical activity, but I'm like a Jedi on the badminton court. It's as if my body was built specifically for it - tall and lanky, with wrists like mousetraps.

My heroes have always been the hardworking and unflappable. Those who light a candle rather than curse the darkness.

I guess I'm just in the flow and riding the wave.

I'm obsessed with coffee. My doctor says if I don't cut back, I am going to permanently damage my esophagus. No joke.

Holiness is God's "special gift" to His people who believe in the finished work of Jesus Christ on the Cross. Holiness is the everyday work of the Holy Spirit in the heart and life of believers.

Having a family is like having a bowling alley installed in your brain.

No person wakes up and finds themselves on the world stage. When that happens, it is in the movies.

You're basically killing each other to see who's got the better imaginary friend.

Grief, I swear to God, doesn't live in the heart. It lives in the senses. And sometimes, all I want to do is cut off my nose so I can't smell her, hack my fingers off at the joint.

You always have to give 100%,because if you don't someone, somewhere will give 100% and they will beat you when you meet.

We all wanted babies - but did any of us want children?

Nature stopped being natural decades ago.

I pay attention to the actors and stuff, but not even that much. I don't pay attention to who's writing.

I wrote six versions of a 30-second tease for an NBA game. You never get it right on the first try.