I read an article that said one in five Americans thinks Elvis is alive. I want to find those morons and get them registered to vote for me.

All the problems we face in the United States today can be traced to an unenlightened immigration policy on the part of the American Indian.

Why should we tell kidnappers, murderers, and embezzlers their rights? If they don't know their rights, they shouldn't be in the business.

No Taxes. Let's just tip the government 15% if they do a good job.

I must choose my words carefully in order to avoid any negative interpretation. Among politicians, this is a tactic known as lying.

Assuming either the Left Wing or the Right Wing gained control of the country, it would probably fly around in circles.

I am neither left wing nor right wing. I am middle-of-the-bird.

Having a comic in the White House will assure stability in foreign relations. The world will continue to respond to foreign initiatives by saying, 'You must be joking.'

We have nothing to fear but fear itself...and of course the boogieman.

Deep down, I happen to be very shallow.

If Iowa is the 'heart' land, what part of the human body is Los Angeles?

This girl owns me, whether she realizes it or not. I'm a slave to her will.

Love may not expect love in return but lovers do.

Hypocrisy is the essence of snobbery, but all snobbery is about the problem of belonging.

What ultimately happened is that my country had a war. I think it would be extraordinary, as a writer, not to want to write about that.

The main thing is to be moved, to love, to hope, to tremble, to live. Be a man before being an artist!

Perhaps no other book has been denounced so vigorously by those who have never read it as has the Book of Mormon.

I don't face any particular problems as a woman president because I have been a professional for a long time. I keep telling people: I am a technocrat who happens to be a woman.

Europe will never be like America. Europe is a product of history. America is a product of philosophy.

To tell a falsehood is like the cut of a saber: for though the wound may heal, the scar of it will remain.

We have seen that our vigour, our strength, nay, our national life is in our religion.