I noticed that once you realize someone's watching you it's pretty hard not to find yourself watching them back.

Perhaps the way to succeed is to think of life on Earth as a colossal joke, a creation of such immense stupidity that the only way to live is to laugh until you think your heart will break.

I don't get nearly enough credit in life for the things I manage not to say.

The imagination can be dangerous. It can change the world. And that is why we write.

Self-knowledge is essential not only to writing, but to doing almost anything really well. It allows you to work through from a deep place - from the deep, dark corners of your subconscious mind.

Osbert was the only one who didn't seem suspicious. He was so interested in the Decline of Western Civilization that he missed the version of it taking place under his nose.

This was what happiness felt like - this wondrous, miraculous alternative to dread.

While working in advertising, I channelled my creative energy into elaborate escape fantasies: cake making, dog breeding, the Peace Corps.

Things Happen and once they start happening you pretty much just to hold on for dear life and see where they drop you when they stop.

If you haven't been in a war and are wondering how long it takes to get used to losing everything you think you need or love, I can tell you the answer is no time at all.

The soldier had stamped my passport FAMILY in heavy black capital letters and I checked it now for reassurance and because I liked how fierce the word looked

Your posture can have a great deal of influence on your personal presentation and image, revealing your attitude toward yourself and others.

I think the Turks' willingness to take seriously action on the borders to stop the flow of foreign fighters joining ISIL is significant.

Abortion continues to be a scourge against this country.

The purpose of labor is to learn; when you know it, the labor is over.

She misses him more now than when he was away

The thing that brings people to wail at a wall, or face Mecca, or to go to church, is a search for that feeling of purity.

What other grown-up gets told how to do their job so often as a writer?

To be the highest-paid running back ever is quite an honor.

And to the English court assemble now, From every region, apes of idleness!