I need - and occasionally love - to write for the same reasons I always did: hard as writing is, it's generally easier than life.

A waft of sweet hash drifted by, and I wanted to float after it like Wimpy levitating at the scent of a hamburger.

All of us, at some point in life, choose our cliché.

It's not like I was an alkie or anything. Alcohol is for cleaning needles

I don't really know how to do much else besides write.

I kept getting high to kill my shame at the fact that I kept getting high.

To me, God is like this happy bus driver.

In my family, misery didn't just love company, it wanted hostages.

I've always wanted to be a guy with a rec room.

You need an entire drama to construct your life around to avoid living it.

This is what I think: If you had the nerve to live what you lived, you should have the nerve to write it.

Every book contains a secret – even the writer doesn't always know what it is.

Prayer is not artful monologue Of voice uplifted from the son It is Love's tender dialogue Between the soul and God.

No greater responsibility can rest upon a man, than to be a teacher of God's children

If a farmer and his family can get up at 5:30 every morning to milk cows, surly we can get up at that time to practice basketball.

I think comedians have a function in society, which is to make fun of our icons.

He who cannot resist temptation is not a man.

I'd be vegetarian if bacon grew on trees

I would eventually like to write and star in my own stuff. I think I have a good comedic sense, so I'd like to follow that road. I don't know what the future holds, but whatever I do, I'll commit.

Cities of mortals woe-begone Fantastic care derides, But in the serious landscape lone Stern benefit abides.

Over the last few years, the world has become a smaller and more integrated place with technology that is leveling the playing field like never before.