I look at each episode in two ways - from a design standpoint and from an entertainment standpoint - this is TV, after all. We usually succeed on at least one of the levels.

Become the kind of person the kind of person you would like to marry would like to marry.

To say that someone is a conservative does not tell us what he is interested in conserving.

Beware of anyone who claims to be neutral, for they always have an agenda.

I write in order to make the little voices in my head go away. Thus far it hasn't worked.

But for you to make this move would reveal the two fundamental tenets of true atheism. One: There is no God. Two: I hate Him.

Education is the process of selling someone on books.

Immodest and attractive is easy. Modest and repulsive is easy too. But modest and attractive is an art form.

If no God, mankind is a set of bi-pedal carbon units of mostly water. And nothing else

Yeah, I spent about 20 years in a dorm room. It took me a while to graduate.

Masculinity is the glad assumption of sacrificial responsibility.

People change over the years, and that changes situations, for good and for bad.

So when I cease to be I want to go back...to the sea! Oh for the life of a sardine! That is the life for me!

According to Nietzche," said a sharp new voice, making them all jump, "philosophy is the biography of the philosopher.

If you can build it, you can unbuild it

Maybe the reason I've never died in this story is that I've never had something worth dying for before.

A satirist is a man whose flesh creeps so at the ugly and the savage and the incongruous aspects of society that he has to express them as brutally and nakedly as possible in order to get relief.

Work - other people's work - is an intolerable idea to a cat. Can you picture cats herding sheep or agreeing to pull a cart? They will not inconvenience themselves to the slightest degree.

Our avian brothers are back to roost on the first leg of their annual sojourn south. Why them and not us? Maybe it's because we humans are meant to be rooted in one spot.

The fact that I haven't been married might qualify me as belonging in the nutty category to a lot of women.

If I wanted to go be social I would. I don't have any fear of that. I don't feel like I'm a shy person at all.