I hate funerals. They aren't for the guy who's dead. They're for the guys who are left alive and enjoy mourning.

The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind.

I gave up drinking once -- it was the worst afternoon of my entire life.

(On Bette Davis) Even when I was carrying a gun, she scared the be-jesus out of me.

Ain’t nothing a man can’t do if he believes in himself.

What's at the end of a million dollars? Zero, zero, zero... nothing. A circle with a hole in it.

Rick: Here's looking at you, kid.

Such a lot of guns around town and so few brains!

A hot dog at the game beats roast beef at the Ritz.

All you owe the public is a good performance.

The only reason to make a million dollars in this business is to tell some fat producer to go to hell.

My sense of the holy is bound up with the hope that some day my remote descendants will live in a global civilization in which love is pretty much the only law.

Not all friends know they have lost you.

Put God first in all that you do, and He will never place you last in any race.

The stupid girl thinks Muslim is a language.

We all take the path leading to the mountain but don’t realize how cold it is at the top!

The good life for me always meant connecting with those big, important issues that grown-ups get so excited about.

I prefer to have all of this apparatus - historical, literary, critical - and then, beyond initial innocence and naiveté, to try to achieve a new innocence, a new naiveté.

It is just as likely that as I invent what I want to say, you will invent what you want to hear.

My stomach gets that hollowed-out feeling. It's amazing how words can do that, just shred your insides apart.

I don't think any of us are normal people.