I had to be happy with the process of writing.Each step you take is more rewarding than the one before.

Death is the only thing keeping us in line.

Thank God there's somebody that doesn't like Stuart Scott. I'm so happy!. It was nice to have that counter-balance to ESPN.

I took time in the day to write as much of the book as I possibly could. I didn't write too much at night, because I don't like to - I'd rather watch TV.

You cannot hide from the world. It will find you. It always does. And now it has found me. My split second of immortality is over. All that's left now is the end, which is all any of us ever has.

For every hour a mother gets to herself, a father will demand five times that amount for drinking with friends and acting like an immature dipshit.

If you have a great characters, you can always have your character do nothing or do something stupid, and people will still follow them, because they're so real and so tangible.

I've hated cockroaches my entire life.Tweeting jokes about it helps me cope, in a way. I'm not as jumpy killing cave crickets as I used to be. I still jump plenty though.

I wanted to write a book that maybe had the potential to go beyond the Deadspin and KSK [Kissing Suzy Kolber] readership.

With toilet books, people don't review them that much. They don't really pay much attention to them. It's just like, "Oh, okay. I'll put this in your stocking."

I know I still had to take money from my parents, because no one can afford to live in Manhattan, not even the rich people.

Any man with a grain of sense knows that marriage is the only way, these days, to acquire a full-time maid who works twenty-five hours a day, with no time off and no pay except room and board. (p9)

The more often he feels without acting, the less he will be able ever to act, and, in the long run, the less he will be able to feel.

Call me a sinner, Mock me maliciously: I was your insomnia, I was your grief.

The definition of definition is at bottom just what the maxim of pragmatism expresses.

We seem to be paying some of our employees an awful lot of money.

I was born in London and lived there until I was five. We traveled a lot. But really San Diego is my hometown. It's where I went to high school.

Oh, how hard it must be to die anywhere but in ones birthplace.

A person's acts are always in harmony with the dominating thoughts of his or her mind.

I must apologise because I know all writers have memories of being on the outer because it's the children on the side of the playground who become the dangerous writers.

First wonder goes deepest; wonder after that fits in the impression made by the first.