I go in for the eye test, and I don't know about you, but I concentrate like crazy during the eye exam. You don't want to get no 'D' on that thing and end up with these big thick Coke bottle glasses.

You know what's fun? You pick somebody at random, like out of the phone book, and send them about 100 'Just Because' cards. They can't even ask you why you did it.

Go my favorite sports team go! Score a goal. Unit. Basket. Go squadron! Defeat the opponents soundly in this...skirmish.

I think the serving size of ice cream is when you hear the spoon hit the bottom of the container.

If you were to second guess your decision to book some time to visit an Indian community, that would be a reservation reservation reservation.

A formula for comedy is comedy equals tragedy plus time. A difficult or uncomfortable situation takes place, and then you laugh about it later down the road.

The big yellow one is the sun!

I was at the breakfast table this morning and I read in the newspaper that more and more adults are living at home with their parents. That surprised me, I was like Mom did you read this?

Racquetball is the only sport where simultaneously you can be looking at the ball and it'll hit you in the back of the head at 90 miles per hour.

I hate getting off the elevator on the wrong floor? Anyone ever do that... and then you have to turn around and face those people. I feel like I owe everyone in there an explanation.

If Einstein was so smart how come people only call you 'Einstein' when you do something really stupid ?

If we obey the great laws, we shall be happy.

NEITHER RAIN NOR SNOW NOR GLOM OF NIT CAN STAY THESE MESENGERS ABOT THEIR DUTY

Tidal waves surge forward, And in their wake, Stale water is replenished.(Haiku from Chapter Thirty, SHADOWWATER)

Nowhere on the planet, nowhere in history, was there a regime more vicious, more bloodthirsty, and at the same time more cunning than the Bolshevik, the self-styled Soviet regime.

I want every child that's born in the world to be planned and wanted.

When we walk, the two halves of our brains converse.

I'm not trying to recapture anything. It's really about moving forward. I don't have much reverence for what I've done in the past.

People often ask me how would I like to be remembered and I answer that I would simply like to be remembered.

Bad leaders care about who is right. Good leaders care about what is right