I don't exaggerate - I just remember big.

After all these years, it's still embarrassing for me to play on the American golf tour. Like the time I asked my caddie for a sand wedge and he came back ten minutes later with a ham on rye.

They claim red meat is bad for you. But I never saw a sick-looking tiger.

The first time I played the Masters, I was so nervous I drank a bottle of rum before I teed off. I shot the happiest 83 of my life.

Only fools live in the past or carry envy to the present.

Golf is the most fun you can have with out taking your clothes off.

I read the greens in Spanish, but I putt in English.

Remember you have to be comfortable. Golf is not a life or death situation. It's just a game and should be treated as such. Stay loose.

I never prayed that I would make a putt. I prayed that I would react well if I missed.

Then Lee Trevino and Jack Nicklaus come in. I'll caddie for Jack.

I am a millionaire today and my wife deserves all of the credit. Before I met her I was a multi-millionaire.

I want to look at you as you kill me.

I have often wondered how it is that every man loves himself more than all the rest of men, but yet sets less value on his own opinion of himself than on the opinion of others.

See? Memories aren't happy, they're sad. Don't you know anything?

I can still go grocery shopping and not get mobbed. But when I was in South Africa this summer, I had people asking for autographs, and that scared me.

When you are playing an egomaniac running a fantastical ship, you don't want him to be too suburban. Naturalism doesn't work on the high seas.

Passion, like discriminating taste, grows on its use. You more likely act yourself into feeling than feel yourself into action.

Promises were a lot like impressions. The second one didn't count for much.

Libya has had to put up with too much from the Arabs for whom it has poured forth both blood and money.

An audience sabotages my freedom, devastates my innocence, corrupts my integrity, inhibits my great joy - and of course gives me further to fall.

I've never been married, and I've never been divorced. But I have had some very serious relationships. I was engaged twice. The way that those relationships ended, it was very very heartbreaking.