I'd learned some things. I knew you weren't supposed to hold a good wine at the top - the paper bag falls off.

All the problems we face in the United States today can be traced to an unenlightened immigration policy on the part of the American Indian.

Why should we tell kidnappers, murderers, and embezzlers their rights? If they don't know their rights, they shouldn't be in the business.

No Taxes. Let's just tip the government 15% if they do a good job.

I must choose my words carefully in order to avoid any negative interpretation. Among politicians, this is a tactic known as lying.

Assuming either the Left Wing or the Right Wing gained control of the country, it would probably fly around in circles.

I read an article that said one in five Americans thinks Elvis is alive. I want to find those morons and get them registered to vote for me.

I am neither left wing nor right wing. I am middle-of-the-bird.

Having a comic in the White House will assure stability in foreign relations. The world will continue to respond to foreign initiatives by saying, 'You must be joking.'

We have nothing to fear but fear itself...and of course the boogieman.

Deep down, I happen to be very shallow.

we were never a match

What separates courage from fear our the thoughts we choose to believe.

The CDU, the great party of the center, is back. It is the biggest party in parliament. We will make what we can of this great result.

I think that the boys have a tendency to be less receptive than the girls.

I play purely from the heart, y'know, and so if it doesn't work the first couple of hours, forget it.

There is no need for ants to have the ability to fly

When I step into the batter's box, the fans, the noise, the cheers, they all disappear. For that moment, the world is just a battle between me and the pitcher. And more than anything, I want to win.

My drawings are another kind of music for me...they relax me and I think they all connect somehow.

A game that a lot of critics like is not necessarily a game that enough players like to be able to make back an investment of tens of millions of dollars.

It is funnier to bend things than to break them.