I always wanted to do a baseball book; I love baseball. The problem is that a very large part of my following is in non-baseball playing countries.

I can't think of anything that excites a greater sense of childlike wonder than to be in a country where you are ignorant of almost everything.

There are only three things that can kill a farmer: lightning, rolling over in a tractor, and old age.

If you can imagine a man having a vasectomy without anesthetic to the sound of frantic sitar-playing, you will have some idea of what popular Turkish music is like.

That's the trouble with losing your mind; by the time it's gone, it's too late to get it back.

Hunters will tell you that a moose is a wily and ferocious forest creature. Nonsense. A moose is a cow drawn by a three-year-old.

Geologists are never at a loss for paperweights.

Of all the things I am not very good at, living in the real world is perhaps the most outstanding.

Physics is really nothing more than a search for ultimate simplicity, but so far all we have is a kind of elegant messiness.

Protons give an atom its identity, electrons its personality.

Why is it, I wondered, that old people are always so self-centered and excitable? But I just smiled benignly and stood back, comforted by the thought that soon they would be dead.

Life is a continuous learning experience.

i asked myself "what you wanna become" she replied "everything i am

We don't need any more writers as solitary heroes. We need a heroic writer's movement: assertive, militant, pugnacious.

Only fools and dead men don't change their minds. Fools won't. Dead men can't.

Flattery is from the teeth out. Sincere appreciation is from the heart out.

The only difference between your local college and a Christian seminary is that the latter is more honest.

But I was waiting for some magical moment, that would prove to me, forever would be fine. Meanwhile, my first love was standing first in line.

Deviants are sacrificed to increase group solidarity

A woman is only a woman, but a good cigar is a smoke.

If we'd kept a clean sheet tonight we'd have won 1-0.