How monotonously alike all the great tyrants and conquerors have been: how gloriously different are the saints.

You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream.

Failures are finger posts on the road to achievement.

I know lots of people who are educated far beyond their intelligence.

It's difficult to think anything but pleasant thoughts while eating a homegrown tomato.

There's no such thing as being too Southern.

The game of life is a lot like football. You have to tackle your problems, block your fears, and score your points when you get the opportunity.

Baptists never make love standing up. They're afraid someone might see them and think they're dancing.

It's better to have died a small child than to be a politician who gets caught in a scandal during a slow news month.

You call to a dog and a dog will break its neck to get to you. Dogs just want to please. Call to a cat and its attitude is, 'What's in it for me?'

Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and give her a house.

The immense appetite we have for biography comes from a deep-seated sense of equality.

Don’t forget to wonder and appreciate yourself.

Each segment of the worm is directly reproduced as a whole worm, just as each cell of the American CEO can produce a new CEO.

Sometimes we forego things not because we do not want them but because we can't afford to raise them at the moment

It’s hillbilly urine

I feel like fashion should not happen in the morning.

The best things in life must come by effort from within, not by gifts from the outside.

I am very happy about Android obviously. I use Android, and it's actually made cellphones very usable.

Michael Phelps is a beast. He's like a human fish. It's really impressive.

The only way I can't hit .300 is if there's something physically wrong with me.