He who is without a newspaper is cut off from his species.

The noblest art is that of making others happy

Fortune always favors the brave, and never helps a man who does not help himself.

How were the receipts today in Madison Square Garden ?

No man ever went broke overestimating the ignorance of the American public.

The common man, no matter how sharp and tough, actually enjoys having the wool pulled over his eyes, and makes it easier for the puller.

You can fool most of the people most of the time.

To me there is no picture so beautiful as smiling, bright-eyed, happy children; no music so sweet as their clear and ringing laughter.

Money is good for nothing unless you know the value of it by experience.

Money is in some respects like fire; it is a very excellent servant but a terrible master.

When a man is in the right path, he must persevere.

Most animals are like people-and like good people

If you're unable to find your face in the dictionary, then take this opportunity to define yourself.

The importance of a problem should not be judged by the number of pages devoted to it.

There is no technique, there is just the way to do it. Now, are we going to measure or are we going to cook?

The way you get to know yourself is by the expression on other people's faces.

"Diiiie men." If you play any Broad City episode backwards, that's all we're saying.

Nevertheless, to the persecution and tyranny of his cruel ministry we will not tamely submit - appealing to Heaven for the justice of our cause, we determine to die or be free . . . .

Human communities depend upon a diversity of talent not a singular conception of ability. and at the heart of the challenge is to reconstitute our sense of ability and intelligence

Nothing ventured, nothing gained. And venture belongs to the adventurous.

...[We] must stop these swarms of Jews who are trading, bartering and robbing.