Having a human conversation is not something I've had any training in either as a comedian or as, you know, a human being.

You don't need people’s opinion on a fact. You might as well have a poll asking: ‘Which number is bigger, 15 or 5?’ or ‘Do owls exist?’ or ‘Are there hats?'

Drug companies are a bit like high school boyfriends - they're much more concerned with getting inside you than being effective once they're in there.

What a tiresome place America would be if freedom meant we all had to think alike or be the same color or wear the same gray flannel suit! That road leads to the conformity of the graveyard!

News is not a game show. You don't win a car if you happen to be right.

Economics is like the Dutch language - I'm told it makes sense, but I have my doubts.

One thing that America is objectively exceptional at is overreacting whenever anyone accuses them of not being exceptional.

The Confederate flag is one of those things that should only be seen on t-shirts, belt buckles and bumper stickers to help the rest of us identify the worst people in the world.

Anybody who claims to be excited for April Fools' Day is probably a sociopath.

Life is a short walk. There is so little time and so much living to achieve.

My fight is not for racial sameness but for racial equality and against racial prejudice and discrimination.

Hatred imprisons the haters

His Magnificence - Your Manifestation.I will make of thee a great nation

It doesn't get any easier; you just get faster.

They change scapegoats at the networks more regularly than some people change socks.

And I’m drawn to failure. I often write about it, and I’m sympathetic with it, I think, because I feel I’m contending with it constantly in my own life.

It's crazy what you see if you aren't really looking.

Uplift, your mind is a gift.

I love football and it's the sport I would really like to play. I've said on national television here that I would really love to play for one of our football clubs when I finished my tennis career.

Democracy or breakdown in Syria would change the whole Middle East overnight.

...I was a young man. I hardly knew what I knew, let alone what I was going to know.