Halloween is an opportunity to be really creative.

My doctor said I had OCD. I couldn't believe it. I had to call him nine times to make sure.

If you're going to hit a car, try to be sure that it's not a cop car

Comedy is the most palliative way to make a point. People are more willing to listen if they can laugh.

The first time I did stand-up was on a dare.

What if obese people couldn't get married?

Joan Rivers broke down barriers, advocated for free speech, and never apologized for who she was.

We never talked to each other in my family. We communicated by putting Ann Landers articles on the refrigerator.

I have a nice little house in LA. Well, the bedroom is nice. I have French doors in the bedroom. They don't open unless I lick them.

For me, humor is everything!

Mother humor is such a universal theme. I wrote a show called '25 Questions for a Jewish Mother.' I had people coming up to me after the show saying, 'I'm Baptist, and my mother is just like yours.'

The magic is only in what books say, how they stitched the patches of the universe together into one garment for us.

Those who are attached only to the result of their effort will not have any chance to appreciate it, because the result will never come.

Rakkim would have loved to believed that… another reason he wasn't convinced.

Freedom is the realization that it is sufficient to simply be a human being.

What I really want is to play the romantic lead and get the girl.

I don't have a lot of downtime.

When I act I try to express the suffering or joy I've known during my lifetime.

The great twin political problems of the age are the brutality of the right, and the dishonesty of the left.

Multi-culture is the real culture of the world - the pure race doesn’t exist.

What joy can the years bring half so sweet as the unhappiness they've taken away?