George Carlin is an influence on a generation. He made me want to do comedy.

Affirmative action was designed to keep women and minorities in competition with each other to distract us while white dudes inject AIDS into our chicken nuggets.

My sense of humor is a turkey, and I pull it out of the oven and baste it in reality.

And when I was angry, when I was younger, I was in a cocoon. Now I'm a beautiful, black butterfly.

Bad news travels at the speed of light; good news travels like molasses.

I have snakes, three sharks, moray eels, piranhas, five scorpions and a bird spider. All of them are predators. They are dangerous but it's cool to have strong and powerful pets.

I see knowledge of self. I know who I am. When I look in the mirror, I see me.

Don't follow in my footsteps. Be original, and create your own path. Be a trailblazer! Do you! Be better than me. Do you! Be happy and have joy in your life.

I love my mother. My mother made sure, her stubbornness - she made sure we was going to eat. She made sure we had Christmases. That was my mother. My father wasn't there for that.

My father said: "If you want to catch your girl cheating, you knock on the front door and run to the back, because he's coming out the back."

I love this cornbread so much, I wanna take it behind a middle school and get it pregnant.

… e mult mai nobil sa ramai lucid oricat te-ar coplesi viata, esti totdeauna mai putin om cand te imbeti, indiferent cum, si daca fuga de realitate nu-i chiar o decadere, ramane totusi o infrangere.

We were sent to earth to fulfill our mandate and life’s purpose

Latin is already a dead language, man... don't make it any deader.

Man is a gaming animal.

If your grandparents are Mexican, you can relate through the roots of the show [Top Chef], through the food, through the traditions and find yourself and get to know yourself too.

The love to Wisdom is getting closer to the own bright path.

If you Google me, you'll find plenty of "dumb blonde" references - even though I graduated with honors from Stanford and studied at Oxford University. I don't let it bother me.

Creating a wonderful drama is an art form, while comedy is just entertainment.

Fear not of men because men must die. Mind over matter and soul before flesh.

It should be remembered that men of courage, integrity, and principle can stand up to Big Brother and resist the headlong march into economic tyranny.