Facebook is weird. They have all of these seemingly random rules that I'm sure make sense to them, but don't make sense to me or any people.

I came back to New York after college like any number of struggling performers, and you just find that niche where you can have some sort of impact. And for me that turned out to be comedy.

I can tell when somebody recognizes me, and I try to avoid those people.

I have a medical condition, all right. It's called caring too much, and it's incurable. Also, I have eczema.

For some reasons, I have WWE wrestlers tweeting me all the time. Like, my biggest fans. Why they can connect with my love for Meryl Streep, I don't know.

If you really think you have something good, you can't take no for an answer. You've got to get in there and ignore the people who say no.

My father and I were really like a team. I mean, he was very supportive. He'd come to every single one of my live shows.

I've had a lot of arguments with people, but it's never really gotten physical.

I'm not a big reality show fan, because I just think it's too fake.

Hotmail just picked up 12 new episodes of 'Judging Amy'.

Difficult People? I don't really know. I don't have those metrics.

The secret to becoming wealthy and successful is thinking wealthy and successful!

He imagines a necessary joy in things that must fly to eat.

I've never had plastic surgery, but if they made a new invention for making people taller, I'd be the first to have the surgery.

The British hamburger thus symbolised, with savage neatness, the country's failure to provide its ordinary people with food which did anything more for them than sustain life.

Writers of comedy have outlook, whereas writers of tragedy have, according to them, insight.

The months fall to shards at my feet.

What does it mean, to lose one's mind? Where does it go? If a man is out of his mind, where is he? What is insane when the world is mad by contrast?

I recently assured Public Sector Banks they will have total autonomy in taking business decisions.

Chemistry is all about getting lucky.

It's pain that changes our lives.