Education is a danger... At best an education which produces useful coolies for us is admissible. Every educated person is a future enemy.

National Socialism and Christianity are irreconcilable.

Unfortunately this earth is not a fairy-land, but a struggle for life, perfectly natural and therefore extremely harsh.

The Christian religion and National Socialist doctrines are not compatible.

The Führer is always quite cheerful, cheerful with all his heart, when he is having tea with his friends during the night, or when he is training his dogs!

Every educated person is a future enemy.

Tea should be taken in solitude.

I always knew I was going to leave the Midwest but didn't really know how the opportunity would present itself. When it happened, I was like, "Yes, okay right now, I'm coming. Goodbye!"

Not writing the same kind of book over and over again is to me the real pleasure of what I do.

I had never done a roast, but I really wanted to, because it's so different from standup.

Fools through false shame, conceal their open wounds.

I think that [Barack] Obama was elected because young people are starting to get interested in their country and I think that's a very healthy thing.

She firmly held the theory that everyone gets at least one very stupid superpower.

Obviously, the emotions I want to convey through music are streamed through the way I interpret life.

Don't let yesterday use up too much of today.