Don't like when sports interviewers force answers: Are you dedicating this game to your sick grandmother? What's the guy supposed to say?

You know what's fun? You pick somebody at random, like out of the phone book, and send them about 100 'Just Because' cards. They can't even ask you why you did it.

Go my favorite sports team go! Score a goal. Unit. Basket. Go squadron! Defeat the opponents soundly in this...skirmish.

I think the serving size of ice cream is when you hear the spoon hit the bottom of the container.

If you were to second guess your decision to book some time to visit an Indian community, that would be a reservation reservation reservation.

A formula for comedy is comedy equals tragedy plus time. A difficult or uncomfortable situation takes place, and then you laugh about it later down the road.

The big yellow one is the sun!

I was at the breakfast table this morning and I read in the newspaper that more and more adults are living at home with their parents. That surprised me, I was like Mom did you read this?

Racquetball is the only sport where simultaneously you can be looking at the ball and it'll hit you in the back of the head at 90 miles per hour.

I hate getting off the elevator on the wrong floor? Anyone ever do that... and then you have to turn around and face those people. I feel like I owe everyone in there an explanation.

If Einstein was so smart how come people only call you 'Einstein' when you do something really stupid ?

Meditation is silence, energising and fulfilling. Silent is the eloquent expression of the inexpressible.

I'm moving to fast. I just...I'm drawn to you. I want to make love to you. I can't help it.

Even when I lecture per se, I am a joke comedian, I can do the voices.

Get thee behind me Satan, and push me along. I'm kin to the devil.

Beethoven, Wagner, Bach, and Mozart settled down day after day to the job in hand. They didn't waste time waiting for inspiration.

It's not unlikely that God would lie that would be a matter of probability. It is impossible for God to lie.

Teaching is the rare profession where the customer isn't always right and needs to be told so appropriately.

I've used a cellphone exactly twice. Things move on. The world changes. And I don't know it

To awaken spiritual unity, and to spread to others the love that is our inherent nature, is the true goal of human life.

I think I am upsetting the coach.