Did you know David Letterman was offered millions of dollars to do a commercial for dog food?

As I get older, I just prefer to knit.

I used to dress up and impersonate our next-door neighbor, Miss Cox. She wore rubber boots, a wool hat, and her nose always dripped.

I don't see myself as a stand-up comic doing cynical, mean-spirited or disrespectful stuff. I'm very aware that I don't like to disrespect people too much.

As you get older, you realize it's work. It's that fine line between love and companionship. But passionate love? I'd love to know how to make that last.

As soon as you find the key to success, somebody always changes the lock.

It's funny - if you impersonate somebody, they have no idea it's them.

I love John Waters. There's stuff in it that's beyond the boundaries of my taste, but his movies have always been like that.

I loved the late Gilda Radner. I love Carol Burnett and Lily Tomlin.

I've never looked ahead very much in my life. I've never had any grand plan from the outset. I had no burning ambition to do what I do

I think serial monogamy says it all.

The man who passes the sentence should swing the sword.

Love opens your heart, trumps fear, and paves the way for healing in all aspects of your life.

All I was doing was trying to get home from work.

I have slowly come to realize that a family is composed of people who are teaching one another.

Art... can become the direct organization of more highly evolved sensations.

Only when you give up being consistent will you find the truth! Inconsistency makes you free to discover other roads.

Anything happens in Grand Prix racing, and it usually does.

I'm a fan of Jay-Z, I'mma always be a fan of Jay-Z.

Sure as the most certain sure, plumb in the uprights, well entretied, braced in the beams, Stout as a horse, affectionate, haughty, electrical, I and this mystery here we stand.