Desperation is like a spilled drink; even if it's delicious, no one will get near it. Cultivate an aura of glamorous unapproachability.

Anyone who gives you a cinnamon roll fresh out of the oven is a friend for life.

Miracles are like meatballs, because nobody can exactly agree on what they are made of, where they come from, or how often they should appear.

Temper tantrums, however fun they may be to throw, rarely solve whatever problem is causing them.

I didn't realize this was a sad occasion.

They didn't understand it, but like so many unfortunate events in life, just because you don't understand it doesn't mean it isn't so.

Love can change a person the way a parent can change a baby - awkwardly, and often with a great deal of mess.

Chestnuts in stuffing tastes like someone chewed up a tree branch and then French-kissed it into your mouth.

The thing with your heart's desire is that your heart doesn't even know what it desires until it turns up.

Accidents happen all the time.

Morning is an important time of day, because how you spend your morning can often tell you what kind of day you are going to have.

Gratitude is incomplete without the act of giving thanks.

You only value something if you know it’ll end.

I call him free who is led solely by reason.

It is ironic that it doesn't matter how successful I am in any other capacity. Ultimately, my parents marker is do you have a wife? And do you have children?

I was a guitar player first off.

In the 1950s, buggery was a criminal offence. Now it's a requirement to receive benefits from the federal government.

What an elder sees sitting; the young can't see standing.

I know what happened to cycling from 1999 to 2005. I saw its growth, I saw its expansion.

Behind Joy and Laughter there may be a temperament, coarse, hard and callous. But behind Sorrow there is always Sorrow. Pain, unlike Pleasure, wears no mask.

Sometimes I think it's possible to mistake desire for clarity and talking in a no-nonsense way for aggression.