Confession is a sacred rite enhanced by allegory, exaggeration, and lies.

I freely admit I'm confused. I'm a confused and troubled individual but at the same time...Its Free!

I used to psych myself up before the show and now I do the complete opposite: I psych myself down. It's 12:30 at night, you don't want some guy yelling at you. You want some guy just talking to you.

From 1934 to 1963, the biggest criminals in America ended up on Alcatraz. Nowadays they end up on Wall Street.

I think when you become a parent you go from being a star in the movie of your own life to the supporting player in the movie of someone else's.

A new survey says one in three adults will be dressing up for Halloween. As for me, I'm not going to do anything. I'm going as Congress.

This story is true. Of course, there are many lies therein and most of it did not happen, but it's all true. In that sense it is deeply religious, perhaps even biblical.

There's something spiritual in hard work. Spirituality isn't all aromatherapy and scented candles.

There's something I believe wholeheartedly: Cynicism is the true refuge of the pseudo-intellectual, .. Cynicism is easy. Joy is an extremely advanced spiritual and intellectual tenet.

HD doesn't mean anything to me. It's a technical thing. It's like demographics. A lot of people know about it.

I didn't say no because between safety and adventure I choose adventure.

Real joy is never influenced.

Wisdom is using your head, separating right from wrong, and doing what is right.

It's hard to say, I picked one of my favorite articles for the MAD vault. Which is one of the features of the Magazine so they don't have to actually pay artists or writers to come up with new stuff.

I don't know why you're making the poor girl play with you," Peter said. "You're going to completely slaughter her." "Well, I am the greatest Guitar Hero player of all time," Jack said.

I love playing out. I love dance music, I love minimal electro. Especially hearing that in clubs, it's a nod to that really.

I can be seen as not being very communicative, or rather mysterious, or distant, or rather cold - all those things. Yeah, I know I can give off that impression. So I am that, too.

Any problem can be solved using the materials in the room.

I can be an incredibly fabulous person, and I don't have to be in the highest heels, the tallest wig, the skimpiest outfit.

We lament, too, the destruction of purity among women and young girls as is evidenced by the increasing immodesty of their dress and conversation and by their participation in shameful dances.

Success is like Halley's comet, you know. Every now and then it just comes around.