Christian endeavor is notoriously hard on female pulchritude.

Love is like war: easy to begin but very hard to stop.

On some great and glorious day the plain folks of the land will reach their heart's desire at last, and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron.

The demagogue is one who preaches doctrines he knows to be untrue to men he knows to be idiots.

The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary.

Morality is doing what is right, no matter what you are told. Religion is doing what you are told, no matter what is right.

Every normal man must be tempted, at times, to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.

Democracy is a pathetic belief in the collective wisdom of individual ignorance.

The urge to save humanity is almost always a false front for the urge to rule.

It is inaccurate to say that I hate everything. I am strongly in favor of common sense, common honesty, and common decency. This makes me forever ineligible for public office.

Democracy is also a form of worship. It is the worship of Jackals by Jackasses.

Look outside of what is possible and think about what could be.

From now on we live in a world where man has walked on the Moon. It's not a miracle we just decided to go.

Today, it's about gender equality, not neutrality. Anyone who doesn't agree would be a bit of an idiot.

Churches need to figure out how they will address the spiritual lives of their staffs and leadership teams.

We use the web to help people organize in the flesh, and then we take the images of those events and put them back on the web to make them add up to more than the sum of their parts.

Xenophobia doesn't benefit anybody unless you're playing high-stakes Scrabble.

When oil goes over $40 a barrel it's almost impossible for America to do well.

You might be a redneck if your coffee table used to be a telephone cable spool.

I bet you can't play slide piano.

Sunday's my favorite day - that one matinee in the middle of the day!