Beware of the clever ones; the dumb ones are safer.

Cats never strike a pose that isn't photogenic.

To understand a cat, you must realize that he has has own gifts, his own viewpoint, even his own morality

A library card is the start of a lifelong adventure.

Dogs have their day but cats have 365.

No one ever owns a cat...you share a common habitation on a basis of equal rights and mutual respects...although somehow the cat always comes out ahead of the deal.

...if you've never been cussed out by a Siamese, you don't know what profanity is all about!

The way to test a man's sincerity is to serve him a bad cup of coffee. If he doesn't comment, he is not to be trusted.

At dinner time he would sit in a corner, concentrating; and suddenly they would say, 'Time to feed the cat,' as if it were their idea.

Are those cat hairs on your lapel, or have you been dating a blonde with a crew cut?

When you don't know what to do with yourself, do something for someone else.

It could be said of him that while others chased the mirage of happiness, he was happy with being content.

I can't rhyme for little green apples. What I can do is scan and make patterns.

All my roots are Broadway. I got my Equity Card doing a Broadway show, and my first love is theater.

I'm eighty-three and I've been smoking since I was eleven. I'm suing the cigarette company because it promised to kill me and it hasn't.

We know you have a great mind and all, Mother, but you don’t have much sense.

Know about the appeals process, especially in the case of the most serious crimes.

You can shear a sheep many times, but skin him only once.

When you look past the image, a celebrity is merely a person you know nothing about.

Rule #76: No excuses. Play like a champion!