Being one point ahead at the end - that's all that matters.

My brother is my best friend.

Love and respect all people. Hate and destroy all faith.

Long hair will send you to hell!

War was the ultimate chaos, a pounding, soul-destroying snarl, ending in blown-apart men lying unburied on the cold earth. There was nothing more cosmically chaotic than war.

I know that everybody is so obsessed with this idea of fame, and they think that I'm obsessed. In all honesty, I'm just doing me.

Control yourself. Become someone who can handle this.

Rahm Emanuel is son of the devil's spawn. He is an individual who would sell his mother to get a vote. He would strap his children to the front end of a steam locomotive.

I dont categorize characters into one syllable. These are fully-rounded characters that I dont judge; I just play them.

Violence against embassies and civilians must be categorically condemned. At the same time, we must attempt to understand why such events occur.

In my heart I know what kind of person I am, and that's good enough.

My stand-up is more like how I am in real life. I don't really do a character thing in stand-up. It's just a bunch of sentences that are supposed to be funny.