Being on a sitcom stops me from getting Alzheimer's.

We are even better looking on the small screen

During the Great Depression, when people laughed their worries disappeared. Audiences loved these funny men. I decided to become one.

Hollywood never knew there was a Vietnam War until they made the movie.

I loved the idea of touching base with an audience.

I shave without using shaving cream.

Never go for the punch line. There might be something funnier on the way.

My father and mother. I figured if I could make them laugh, they'd stop fighting. I stole all their material.

I ask myself why I do it [work]. Maybe it's to prove I'm still around. It takes a lot out of my body. I'm not an NBA player anymore. At my age, very few people can handle it.

Creative comedy is like growing geraniums in a mine field.

I've got a prostate the size of a honeydew and a head full of bad memories.

You were chosen by God to create the destiny of the nation and to lay a foundation for the generations to come

...I know that if you ask me to jump I will say how high. So I will stay away from you and hope that you never ever say jump.

Faith minus vulnerability and mystery equals extremism. If you've got all the answers, then don't call what you do 'faith.'

You can't talk about peace nor agreement while terror is used as the main argument.

The future is an imagined Now, a projection of the mind.

From my Christian formation've gotten my ideals and technique Gandhi action

You go through publicists because it's easy for a publicist to say to another publicist, 'No'.

Boogie! I hate boogie, God, I mean, not the Chicago boogie like Willie Dixon or Howlin' Wolf, but all those awful white bands.

They indeed are fools who are satisfied with the fruits of their past effort and do not engage themselves in self-effort now.

My short stories have always pushed twenty pages. That's no length for a short story to be. You either do them short like Carver or you stop trying.