Being an optimist after you've got everything you want doesn't count.

Of all the home remedies, a good wife is best.

Next to a circus there ain't nothing that packs up and tears out faster than the Christmas spirit.

Nobody can be as agreeable as an uninvited guest.

The fellow that owns his own home is always just coming out of a hardware store.

The safe way to double your money is to fold it over once and put it in your pocket.

Nobody ever forgets where he buried the hatchet.

If you haven't seen your wife smile at a traffic cop, you haven't seen her smile her prettiest.

The fellow that agrees with everything you say is either a fool or he is getting ready to skin you.

The hardest thing is to take less when you can get more.

It is pretty hard to tell what does bring happiness; poverty and wealth have both failed.

When you have grace to speak kind words, declare the sacred-words.

I'm not the settling-down type, I'm afraid. I think I'm cursed with a touch of Dating ADD.

I am a better person when I let myself have the time for romance and for love.

Nothing new here, except my marrying, which to me is a matter of profound wonder.

I'm human, just like anybody else.

My head looks like an uncooked ham with glasses.

The thing that attracted me to my husband was his pride. I'll never forget the first time I saw him, standing up on a hill, his hair blowing in the breeze - and he too proud to run and get it.

Basic reality seems to be that the more you try to be like God by radiating unlimited love, the more you become flooded by waves of love from others and from God.

Forgiveness doesn't excuse their actions. Forgiveness stops their actions from destroying your heart.

And the tear that is wiped with a little address, May be follow'd perhaps by a smile.