Basically, my life is so boring, it's embarrassing.

You know everyone loves to be the villain.

My grandmother was utterly convinced I'd wind up as the Archbishop of Canterbury. And, to be honest, I've never entirely ruled it out.

I just don't believe in love at first sight any more, even though I've based my whole career on the concept.

I'm a laugh tart. I make no secret of that fact.

Now [after doing Pilates], I have muscles of steel and could easily deal with giving birth.

I cling to the fantasy that I could have done something more creative. Like actually writing a script, or writing a book. But the awful truth is that I... probably can't!

The only reason my work seems to be eclectic up to a certain period is because I was a failure as an actor.

There is space in the supermarket shelf for all of us.

But when you're a celebrity, you discover that you're no longer the pursuer, but the one being pursued. That's one of the disappointments I have had since becoming a single man.

I had Courtney Love's left bosom out of her dress on my plate in front of me. It was extraordinary. I didn't know where to look.

There are in nature neither rewards nor punishments — there are consequences.

BAIT, n. A preparation that renders the hook more palatable. The best kind is beauty.

If God is God He is not good, if God is good He is not God; take the even, take the odd.

A boardroom is a collection of individuals, and individuals have varying motives, egos, agendas and qualifications. Sometimes the dynamics can go off track.

God will never tell us to do something that gratifies the flesh.

I get tired of singing to the guys I beat up in motion pictures.

The kind uncles and aunts of the race are more esteemed than its true spiritual fathers and mothers.

I may not be the lithest, the most talented, or have the fastest time in the field, but I have passion and courage, and sometimes that is enough to do something extraordinary.

Comedy is quite a difficult place for queers and for women.

Paintings are seldom guilty and often framed for crimes they did not commit. Some cover holes-holes in walls, holes in lives. Some make holes-in wallets, holes in hearts...in negative space.