Barack Obama is not the kind of guy we want in the Oval Office leading America. We do not want somebody who doesn't like his own country, for whatever perverted, convoluted, stupid reasons.

If Thomas Jefferson thought taxation without representation was bad, he should see how it is with representation.

Poverty is not the root cause of crime.

Liberals attempt through judicial activism what they cannot win at the ballot box.

We're not sexists, we're chauvinists - we're male chauvinist pigs, and we're happy to be because we think that's what men were destined to be. We think that's what women want.

End results that work that don’t involve government threaten liberals.

You know why there's a Second Amendment? In case the government fails to follow the first one.

Styrofoam and plastic milk jugs are biodegradable! Do you know what isn't biodegradable? Paper!

I think cigars are just a tremendous addition to the enjoyment of life.

The NAACP should have riot rehearsal. They should get a liquor store and practice robberies.

In a country of children where the option is Santa Claus or work, what wins?

If things are really overwhelming and you need to talk, you can give me a call at 347-273-2044.

The really great people are the ones who know how to make the little people feel great.

I'm a risk taker, so I have come to accept that at times I will fail. To me, that is better than not trying at all.

There is one Quality, which has somewhat so heavenly in it; that by so much the more we are possess'd of it, by so much the more we draw nearer to the Great Author of Nature.

Life is a comedy for those who think and a tragedy for those who feel. Show me a hero and I will write you a tragedy.

I am an eternally curious person, but I wouldn't go to such lengths to know what it is like to be someone else.

Jokes? There are no jokes. The truth is the funniest joke of all.

[In relation to business:] Invention must be its keynote-a steady progression from one thing to another. As each in turn approaches a saturated market, something new must be produced.