As most New Yorkers have done, I have given serious and generous thought to the state of my apartment should I get killed during the day.

Our brains are like bonsai trees, growing around our private versions of reality.

Life starts out with everyone clapping when you take a poo and goes downhill from there.

There are two kinds of people in this world: those who know where their high school yearbook is and those who do not.

If you have to ask someone to change, to tell you they love you, to bring wine to dinner, to call you when they land, you can't afford to be with them.

Unless you are a professional, you will find the tart to be a high-maintenance, unforgiving whistle-blower of a pastry.

I would gladly have accepted a heaping spoonful of nepotism when I got out of college and was looking for a job.

Book tours are such a little tapas meal of where I could live.

No affair that begins with such an orchestrated overture can end on a simple note.

Uniqueness is wasted on youth. Like fine wine or a solid flossing habit, you'll be grateful for it when you're older.

I like to try to do a little work before I do anything in the morning, even if it's a paragraph.

The city gives even to children a sophisticated look that baffles the casual psychologist.

Consciousness is not confined within an individual brain. Otherwise, how can it cause changes in the physical state of things outside the brain?

When you really want to say no, say no. You can't do everything - or at least not well.

In fact, most artists want to make things a bit more difficult for themselves as they go along, to challenge themselves.

It's different today than it was then. In those days we were strictly amateurs. If I had wanted to stay in for the '80 Olympics, my parents couldn't have afforded it.

The devil's most devilish when respectable.

Women are still second-class citizens.

The secret of Big Macs is that they're not very good, but every one is not very good in exactly the same way.

The Broadway audience is made up of a greater percentage of tourists now. There's not nearly as much variety and danger and challenge in what's being offered.

What a dreadful thing it must be to have a dull father.